Hey hi hello and welcome to my journal page, a cozy home for my thoughts & feels & rambles & soup! Expect some personal introspections, media studies, just-for-fun & funny reviews, and tangential ADHD gush about all the things that interest me. Stuff will get added as often as I remember to write!
The navigation and pages here can be scrolled!
Everything expressed on these pages are personal opinions. You don't have to take 'em too seriously if you're not vibing with me!
Recent Changes:
21/09/22 - Moved my little Neocities gush over from my homepage.
22/09/22 - Added the Ultimate Garlic Cheese Soup recipe... go make it!!
27/09/22 - Finished the page's look and layout. LittleBigPlanet themed!
17/10/22 - Started putting together my Bear Cub musings. Surprisingly hard to get everything together in a speech! Might need a little time.
27/10/22 - Bear Cub ramble is up!
30/10/22 - LEGO rambles have been (temporarily?) flung onto my private Cohost due to my brain going splat. Special interests are hard, man.
08/11/22 - Okay, you get one. Kai's hair reviews is up!
24/09/24 - Moved my AC Pig Breeds over from Cohost.
I love you single-page profiles & carrd-like websites,
I love you javascript heavy and never-ending labrinthine websites,
I love you inexperienced coder making the jankiest website ever,
I love you CSS criminals not even intending to make a website,
I love you websites that go on for pages about 'boring' topics,
I love you websites that document the simple joys in life,
I love you websites about original characters and fiction,
I love you fansites about guiding new players into a franchise,
I love you wacky layout websites made only for the website owner's enjoyment,
I love you accessibility focused websites with layouts for everyone,
I love you sparkly gif collectors, cheesy retro aesthetics, and scemo edgelords,
I love you users not concerned with upholding an imaginary standard of quality,
I love you users always pushing to make yourselves proud,
I love you users who do whatever you like for the fun of it...
I love you Neocities!!!
Here's something I've slurped every birthday, Easter and Christmas of my life... the Ultimate Garlic Cheese Soup! If you're looking for something savoury and creamy to break bread over this season, look no further. Kind of an old family recipe, this dish has made my loved ones scramble across the dinner table armed with spoons and bread rolls for years.
And it's easy-peasy!
1. One large onion
2. Two large courgettes
3. One pint of vegetable stock
4. 150g Boursin cheese (Garlic and Fine Herbs)
5. A blender, masher, or mortar and pestle
6. A cooking pot
7. A cooking knife
8. A large spoon or whisk
1. Cut the courgettes free of their tops and bottoms, then trash the ends.
2. Chop the onion and the courgettes into small chunks, then place into a pot with the pint of vegetable stock. Bring the mixture to boil (watch for bubbles!) then reduce to a simmer (keep it gently bubbling) for 20 minutes.
4. Puree or mash the result until it's liquidy and fine enough to sip.
5. Bring to boil and simmer for another 2 minutes.
6. Add the 150g of Boursin, then stir or whisk until it is entirely melted. Don't let it boil!
7. Dish up your cheesy concoction in your favourite soup bowl or dish, and for the full experience, serve with warm bread rolls and soft butter. Dip and dig in!
Serves four.
Bear - a stockier and often hairier person who projects an image of rugged masculinity. The Bear community celebrates secondary and overlooked characteristics of masculinity, such as fatness, body hair, facial hair, sweating and baldness.
Cub – a younger or younger-looking version of a Bear, sometimes but not always with a smaller frame.
A person who aspires to have the build of a Bear.
I’ve been struggling to compose this page for a long time. The words are in me, scattered through from my heart to my fingertips, but putting them all in neat lines to form a whole is hard. I think when people write about their experiences with love, they feel like they've gotta be profound and deliver a real punch quote to prove their sincerity. Alas, art and love are things we do, not things we prove, so here I go again.
I love Bears. I love shoulder hair, I love happy trails, I love prominent paunches, rounded cheeks, and smiles that crease the chin line. In discussions of sexuality I find myself enamoured by the undivine masculine; the “side effects” and the unkemptness that is swept under the rug by mainstream and corporate. Inevitably, I hear the same old thing:
“Is this a fetish thing?”
“Are you into weight gain?”
“Do you have a fat kink?”
It’s not, I’m not, I don’t. It pains me as a queer person to always have to clip my sexuality into precise shapes for it to be understood, but I’ll do it for the sake of love: it’s not about food or gaining weight for sexual gratification, nor is it about objectifying the bodies of fat people. It’s about the unmitigated joy of presenting oneself a certain way; the combination of gender expression and sexuality that makes masculinity new and recreates it again and again in people who truly love who they are.
Yeah, I’m sexually attracted to Bears. Hair and muscle lingers in my lust and brims beneath my skin in an unrealized future - I can’t neuter this part of me. I’ve got no interested in “cleaning up” my queerness. But no, It isn’t sex that drives my attention, it’s happiness!
Masculinity without the trappings.
A home for men who love to be men.
A gay man who is comfortable with himself just as he is.
A community of open-mindedness, size positivity and men embracing men.
There’s love, security and freedom in the bodies of Bears. In trans men, shirtless, with hairy breasts and bellies that hang low on their frames. In an acne-covered, hairless chin that smooths gracefully into a person’s neck and wrinkles whenever they laugh. In the shaved head of an Ursula and every pock-mark that mars it, from the nails of her lovers and the point of a tattoo needle. In the old and dry back fur of a Polar Bear, curling around his husband's fingers in rivulets.
It's all about running headfirst into masculinity, embracing it, and having it embrace you back.
When I was 14 and first learned the word “transgender”, I trashed all the old parts of me in a desperate claw for masculinity. My knee-length hair was cut at the neck and my wardrobe was a mush of black-green-grey. I searched up Macho Ways to Behave, started to talk louder, interrupt more, listen less and make rude jokes at the expense of others; retooling every bit of myself as if I could interchange enough parts to make a new person. It didn’t make me happy. I’d gone from playing one role to playing another, and the self beneath my skin suffered for it.
Fitting into a mould doesn’t work. Things like gender and sexuality are reinvented in every person that experiences them and embracing that is what makes our community divine. Of course, when you’re part of a community, there comes a feeling of obligation to blend in with the rest and form a status quo - but community is not antithetical to the individual. Only by being ourselves at our truest, strangest and rawest can we find where we belong. People overlap in more ways than we differ.
There is some debate as to what makes or breaks a Bear.
Do they need to be tall? Do they need to be strong? Do they need to be male, strong, rugged?
Is there a weight limit?
No. Bears are generally-bulkier queer people who celebrate their masculinity and masculine features. They can be macho, effeminate, muscular, fat, male, female, cisgender, transgender, old, young, or anything in-between.
Bears inspired me. Starting with one bright yellow jacket, I remade myself. Now my transness is a thing that leads me into masculinity happily: not done at the expense of others or my feelings, just something that I love and embrace and perform with joy!
In my future I see a showy man, a confident man, the kind that smiles with his whole face and booms when he laughs. A man covered in hair from his head (his jawline, his neck, his chest) to his toe knuckles, sweaty and acne-ridden as testosterone takes its euphoric toll. Outfitted in bright, colourful clothes bought a new size up and surrounded by those who feel safe in his presence.
I’ll look how I love to look, how I love to see other people, and that joy will come across in my whole person. It'll inspire more love in turn.
Craig Byrnes created the Bear Flag in 1995 to unite Bears of all backgrounds. The colours of the stripes are drawn from bear species around the world.Love is supposed to wear out your fur a little!
The preface for this entry is that I love Kai Smith. I love how he looks, I hold him close to my heart & I'm endeared to every version of him. I just also really love taking the piss, so here’s my 100% accurate and factual review of Kai’s hairstyles throughout Ninjago media.
Written with friendly input from Maunder and Doc Retro!
Kai’s hair entrances me. It’s simultaneously the worst and best thing I’ve ever seen, like an iconic Dragon Ball ‘do haphazardly built in 3D. Far be it from me to mess with Kai’s iconic look, I can’t help but think of it as jarring amongst the pre-made hairpieces present in the show. All sharp edges and random spikes, it’s more of a ruffled mess than the intended ‘plume of fire’, though I’d fully believe a man living without his parents would cut and style his hair like this.
However, the fact that it’s so complicated and nonsensical means it’s been interpreted a bunch of different ways across Ninjago media, and I think it’s a fun idea to list ‘em all off to figure out which does Kai’s original style the most justice!
Classic and beloved Kai hair. Having watched Ninjago so often, I’m way past used to this by now, but there are still occasions where I’ll snap out of my LEGO-loving daze and realise just how funny it is. There’s barely any shape coherency, especially at angles he clearly wasn’t meant to be seen from - watching him in motion is like playing a 3D Dragon Ball game and catching Goku’s head from the side.
I’ll always love this look, but his hair seriously sticks out like a sore thumb when seen among other LEGO hairpieces which are far more chunky and plastic-looking on account of being made for minifigures. Kai’s hair ends in sharp, brittle points, which is a tiny detail but important enough to completely alienate his hairdo.
5/10
Yep, this is Kai's hair.
Now we’re getting somewhere. With Kai’s hair finally being fitted onto a minifig, we get a much more controlled mess - something that looks completely natural when lined up with other little guys in your collection. The clash from the show is solved and Kai’s style is looking more endearing for it!
However, having his hairpiece printed highlights how much the character seems to have been designed on paper. Rotating the bit in my hand, there's a clear-to-see struggle to keep all the parts of his hair interconnected, and the awkward bends between his spikes do nothing to give off the impression he’s got a head full of hair.
7/10
The ultimate Nutella boy.
An interesting thing: this is the first time we see Kai with lighter hair! The colour lends itself really sweetly to his red palette, 
though dark hair seems more fitting in-canon considering the rest of his family has black hair.
Anyway, this version of Kai is his minifigure in motion and it’s super solid! Honestly, it’s a shame the show never integrated this kind of model because it clearly works and blends in much nicer with the rest of the art. The power of trusting in the style you’re working from!
This model also seems to have worked out the weird bends in his ‘do and made them into more pronounced spikes, which is still kind of weird if you stare at them for too long, but looks way less like his hair was sculpted by the tumblr chocolate guy.
8/10
Should’ve been canon.
I don’t wanna say ‘I told you so’, but Kai’s hair works so well in 2D it feels like it was never intended for 3D. Yeah, it’s still wild, but it’s stylish and full of personality! It feels workable, with the stark black shadows bringing some depth to the ‘do by implying layering - a must-have for this kind of up-did style.
Each spike on his head contributes to a single, swooping shape to give him a confident and readable outline which does a far better job at giving off the impression of fire than twisting strands going every which-way. His design concept thrives in every panel.
9/10
I told you so!!
A delightful Kai with delightful hair. The art in this book makes my heart sing and Kai’s hair is drawn especially playfully, coming across as spike-covered and scruffy without ignoring the artistic limitation of 3D LEGO: the perfect balance between plastic toy and cartoon character!!
It’s just shaped better! His fringe falls down over his face in a charming way, but leaves plenty of space for his eyes to be expressive. His top spikes are large and readable, but they’re accented by smaller and limper tufts to give the effect of an uneven, growing mess.
His hair also falls lower on his neck, with the base of it fluffing out and giving my overactive imagination the imagery of kindling. It’s an endearing style. Like the crackles of a campfire, it gives off warmth, and I wish we saw something like it in the show.
10/10
Anime protagonist hair.
The most fun thing about this hairdo is that it’s real similar to his remodelled hair from Season 8 onwards. It’s like an early peek into that messy, rebellious vibe that’s carried over from the LEGO Ninjago movie, but a bit more unkempt due to the freedom of 2D as a medium!
It’s not really comparable to previous hairpieces since it looks like a whole new style altogether, but to judge it as a new style, it's awesome. The fire effect is fully realised, same as it is post-timeskip, and Kai’s personality shoots off the end of every sharp, stylish strand.
9/10
He switched to hair wax.
This is where the comic series starts to attempt a more ‘on-model’ aesthetic and unfortunately suffers from it. The rounded tips of Kai’s hair don’t work at all, making it look like something with a lot of legs is hitching a ride on its head. The illusion of hair has been lost entirely, replaced with all-too-uniform brown tentacles that do little to give Kai his characteristic edge.
3/10
Unhappy medium.
Like with the previous entry, this hairdo is more on-model, but this time pulling from the minifig. Sure, it flows more, with hard plastic edges and indents, but at the cost of its expressiveness. It’s funny how the medium of a single portrayal of his hair can matter so much!
Where previous hairstyles were perhaps not limited enough by LEGO’s 3D art direction, this is limited far too much. It’s overly compact, difficult to read, and his head looks like a mountain range.
3/10
Cole’s up there.
Yeah, I know the point of concept art is to be simple, and this isn’t a dig at the artist for going that route! It's just… judging Kai’s hair devoid of any context, this is way too basic. The focus is all on his upright spikes without any attention given to the parts of his ‘do that flow down or fluff outwards. In place of his fringe, he’s got one very sad lop spike that’s desperately trying to touch down at his eyebrows, and it looks all kinds of wrong.
His hair is supposed to be extravagant and eccentric! The point of judging his hair on its messy shape language isn’t to boil it down to the bare basics, it’s to figure out which is the best way to communicate all its iconic sharp edges and softer strands!
1/10
Concept art could never.
This one gives me a chuckle, because I’ve been there: it looks like the artist wasn’t sure how to interpret Kai’s hair after they finished his fringe and just started sticking cones on him. Overall it’s a nicely rendered piece of work, but his hair on its own is a nauseating mix between realistic and simple - overly solid in its shapes and far too generous with its individual strands. I assume this texture work was an attempt to emulate the plastic locks on other characters’ hairpieces, but it comes across way too detailed for LEGO. The style dissonance is weird.
I’m also just really intrigued by the decision to interpret the sides of his hairstyle as chunky sideburns.
1/10
Looks like an over-glued Yu-Gi-Oh cosplay wig.
Objectively this is bad, but I can’t help but be charmed by the fact that it doesn’t even try to emulate his hair points. He looks like he just got out of bed. I love it.
2/10
Just a little fella.
-100/10
What the fuck is this?
Photo Credit: Piggins and Banks
Agnes was the easiest pig to pick out because pot-bellies are just SO strong-willed! They're opinionated and stubborn, but at the same time so delightfully intelligent and affectionate that interpreting one as a "big sister" villager takes very little legwork. Plus, though a few different breeds can sport the point pattern, (mostly mini-pigs, which I think are too dainty for a heart hog like Agnes - she's big and loud and confident!) the sight of a black pot-belly, strong and stout yet oh-so-beautiful, screams "Agnes"!
Photo Credit: Daily Scandinavian
So... I mainly assigned Spork this little piggy because I mis-saw his undershirt as a pattern and got excited & now it's just too endearing to reconsider. BUT! HAppy little accident: Spork is associated with school and being bullied, which suits the red pied pig nicely as a walking history lesson! Also known as the Danish protest pig, the breed was developed when flying the Danish flag was illegal. Maybe a bit on the extreme side in comparison to a funny game animal but... never let bullies get you down! Fuck 'em!
Photo Credit: Agricultural Magazine
Durocs maybe have a bit to much energy for Rasher, who when I last saw him told me he likes "relaxing his old bones" in an oil barrel over an open flame, but their striking red colouration and long lifespan (over 20 years!) feel like a perfect fit! Laid-back and personable in good company but sensitive and destructive when their emotions are played with, the breed is also pretty easy to compare to the cranky personality type. If they're not treated with respect - they won't respect you either - and you don't wanna be on the wrong side of a boar's heavy muscle!
Photo Credit: Eco Farming Daily
Talk about the perfect pattern! Herefords were bred to imitate the hereford cow and, as such, are a super hardy breed that can thrive in a variety of climates - fitting for a jock islander like Pigleg! For a little bit, I also considered the bearded pig: a wild, scruffy thing sometimes found on islands... but, come on. That intense red colour and white trim? Pigleg!
Photo Credit: Roots and Refuge
This one's plain for all to see! Pancetti is a glamorous thing, blonde and curly-haired with big eyes and dark eyelashes. Her favourite pastime is thinking up excuses to get people to compliment her appearance, and mangalicas are one of the most immediately striking and endearing pigs out there - everyone I've introduced the breed to has gone "OOH!" or "WOW!" and the only thing she's missing is their iconic black snout!
Plus, she's a snooty, and mangalicas are known to prefer water wallows over mud baths (mainly because the mud sticks and cements their wool, which is uncomfortable, but let's just pretend they've got an attitude).
Photo Credit: Arkansas Farm Bureau
Oh, wonderful kunekune, how do I not just devolve this whole section into loving you?! Maggie, a normal/sweet villager, is the perfect embodiment of a kunekune pig - friendly, hospitable, social, sweet-tempered and affectionate. She has the same spots, the same wonky smile, the same quiet disposition, and the same ability to weasel right into your heart! Plus, she's all about gardening, and kunekunes have been bred with a shorter snout to keep their rooting overall undestructive.
Photo Credit: Andy Hay
Can't really tell you why I get medium white vibes from Lucy... maybe something to do with her big eyes making her snout seem too stumpy for a large white? In my mind, she's got this stocky, compact appearance - big and solid but oh-so-gentle because of the way she carries that shape. Medium whites are kind but cheeky critters, matching Lucy's sweet-but-assertive characterisation!
Photo Credit: Wikipedia
With her big blue eyes, tender pink colouration and overall dainty appearance, Gala reminds me of all the traits people expect to see in a minipig... and the gottingen delivers! At just 70lbs when fully grown, the breed could pass as an oversized piggy bank and sports the kind of personality you'd expect from a normal villager: gentle, docile, and always happy to play.
Photo Credit: Bay Area Juliana Pigs
Imagine my delight when I remembered there's a shade of grey called "blue" AND it's found on a pig known for being spotted! Sometimes referred to as the miniature painted pig, matching Hugh's "hue" theming and crazy colourful houses, the juliana is a breed notable for their love of affection and lazy cuddling. Unfortunately, that's about where the lazy personality comparisons end, since julianas were bred to be small and narrow rather than pudgy and pot-bellied. They're athletic in their foraging, not snoozy in their snacking!
Julianas are also one of the most popular and widely sold breeds of minipig, completely and wholly cemented into the human heart, which is a subtle reference to the fact that I love him.
Photo Credit: Livestock Conservancy
Fun fact: pigs aren't really warty animals. But some of them can have wattles, and that's exactly what I thought of when I read that Hambo has warts and not freckles! Red wattle hogs grow fast, forage well, and are strong animals that resist sickness and disease with the might of a real-world Rambo. Plus, some have this handsome red-brown taper to match Hambo's toasty little ears, and what could be cuter?
Photo Credit: Morning Chores
When most people think of a pig, they think of a pink animal, short-furred and sharp-eared with a long snout tipped by a pale nose. They think of Curly - an american yorkshire! Though not the only pig to have the iconic pink appearance of cartoon hogs, the yorkshire is one of the most muscular, matching curly's jock personality, and is capable of playing video games!! What a coinkydink, considering Curly wants to be a game developer!
Photo Credit: Livestock Breeds
The oldest of the pedigree spotted pigs, gloucestershire old spots are self-sufficient, smart and sturdy swine that can solve difficult problems solo. They have thick, full bellies and big, full brains! As a jock and a nerd - the only jock in the whole of new horizons to have the education hobby - it's only right that Cobb sports the same powerful, wisened build. Plus, his goggle-glasses made me think he doesn't see so well and old spots all grow to have their ears flopping low over their faces.
Photo Credit: Breeds List
Chops was the hardest pick of the bunch, since there's plenty of blonde pig breeds but none really fitting of his personality. Like, he's smug. His happy home request is "a place for winners". He thinks he was a king in his past life. He looks really British. The chester white came to mind, a now hugely prolific breed developed in the 1800s using a white boar imported from Lord John Russell, and things started falling into place. It's an award-winning pig, but not the most popular - just enough for chops to have an ill-seeming ego about him.
Photo Credit: Piggins and Banks
In the more dramatic and demanding potbellies, crankiness is a given. They'll bark, whine, shriek and even snap to get their message across... never meaning to hurt, just being fucking loud and grumpy in a way that can't be ignored. Plus, Boris' card profile says he hates cleaning but also mess, which is oh-so-delightfully potbelly. They love to have their living spaces arranged EXACTLY the way they like them and won't take kindly to their things being out of place... but that doesn't mean they're gonna be the ones moving things back.
Photo Credit: Dragonfly Farm
What's more peppy and outgoing than a pig selectively bred to be our buddies? Like Peggy, who loves doing her hair and putting on makeup, minipigs love to be pampered and groomed - getting bathed, brushed, and having their hooves painted with varnish (which keeps them healthy, shiny and glossy) is a delight for them where some breeds would get a little agitated.
Also, the tuxedo pattern on minipigs is the only thing I could think of that even remotely resembles Peggy's weave!
Photo Credit: British Pigs
Since the two are pretty similar in appearance, I originally thought of Truffles as a yorkshire like Curly, but the muscle difference made me think twice. Long and lean, landrace pigs can look identical to the untrained eye, with the exception of the lop ears falling over their faces - which I felt were perfect for Truffles' split hairdo. Her peppy love for trivia and quizzes reflects in the more playful side of this versatile indoor-outdoor pig, which are known to have amazing memories!
Photo Credit: Johnny Appleseed
I considered guinea hogs and large black pigs when musing over Sue, but when I remembered the beautiful pink-purple tint to the meishan pig I knew her snooty personality would shine through their dignified wrinkles and underhanded characters! In my mind, Sue is proud in a refined kind of way, like an older woman who isn't afraid to age. She wears elegant clothes and fills her house with fine things, and much like a meishan, rarely shows aggression... but can be stubborn, spoiled and manipulative.
Photo Credit: San Diego Zoo
Kevin is a baby. Like, I didn't think about it when I first saw him because I was like "OOH, GOLD PIG!" but he's a baby. He has the play hobby, is wearing a school jacket, dreams of piloting a spaceship, says "weeweewee" and is quoted to be "young enough that you can't be too mad at him for being rambunctious". He also has stripes, and pigs just don't have stripes. They can have stripe-LIKE markings, like bands, saddles, and unique arrangements of spots, but they don't have stripes - only piglets have stripes. He's baby.
(And his bright ginger/red/black colour scheme reminded me of the red river hog!)
